Research has shown that half of divorces happen in the first 7 years of marriage, this means if you are married longer than 7 years you are half as likely to get divorced. Research also shows that people who stay in an unhappy marriage are less physically healthy due to the unhappy relationship: Their nervous systems are constantly aroused and always under stress. Additionally, happy couples are likely to live approximately 4 years longer, on average, than those who are not.
For the most part, people take advantage of their relationships until things start going bad. Instead, try to notice if you’re happy and do the things in your relationship that will keep you happy. According to the work of Dr. John Gottman, the health benefits of a satisfying relationship are so high that if a health buff took 10% of the energy they use to do a workout and commit it to their marriage instead they would be 3 times healthier. This means committing just 20 minutes a day to your spouse has vast benefits.
It’s important to note that every couple fights, whether they are happy or unhappy. Even couples that have been happily together for 45 years still have the same typical arguments about money, in-laws and sex. The difference is that happy couples fight more fairly and know when to let it go and say sorry.
One thing that can really make a difference to your relationship is to be interested in your partner’s daily life, try asking what’s worrying them and what’s exciting them. Just try to always have a really good idea of who they are and how their life is going. The underlying friendship that results from these conversations will help you handle arguments with more ease. This is because you have a fondness for the other person and will take arguments less personally. Take a moment to reflect on how much you have invested in your relationship lately. Commit tonight to turning off your phone and the TV. Snuggle up to your partner and enjoy a meaningful conversation.