If you think that your partner may be cheating the best possible thing you can do is confront them outright. The next best step to take is to seek help from a couple’s therapist and try to rebuild the trust that has been lost. One of the most common reasons I’ve noticed people cheat is because they feel lonely in the relationship. Rather than talking to you about it, he or she resorts to having an affair for the short-term satisfaction. Here are some signs that could point to a possible affair particularly if you notice several or all of them together:
- Your partner starts to groom themselves differently. If your partner has always had the exact same grooming habits and then suddenly changes it up, this could be a sign they are cheating. They could be grooming this way as it is the other person’s preference or simply to keep the other person interested.
- They change things up, all of a sudden, in the bedroom. This could mean they’ve experienced a certain sex position with someone else and want to try it with you.
- They have their phone on them at all times. We are all attached to our smartphones but if you notice a difference in how attached your partner is, it could mean they are hiding something. If they don’t leave their phone sitting on the table but instead have it in their pocket or they don’t let you use their phone or look at their photos. You may want to look into this further.
- They shower more often and as soon as they get home. This is particularly significant if your partner has always had the same showering habits and always showered first thing in the morning or just before bed. If they suddenly have to get in the shower as soon as they get home this could be a sign of infidelity.
- They want sex less. If someone is getting sex elsewhere he or she will likely be too tired or even uninterested in having sex with you. If you used to have sex several times a week and suddenly its declined to once every couple of weeks or even none at all this could be a sign that they are getting it elsewhere.
It’s hard to even think about the fact that your loved one may be with someone else. If you are questioning whether this is the case, you may want to see a therapist to prepare for this difficult conversation with your partner. If you are willing, couples therapy can be very effective in helping you build trust again.
The Toronto Neurofeedback and Psychotherapy Centre offers couples counselling services. Click here to learn more and to book an appointment to get support.