How to mend a broken heart

After a breakup, there are a number of ways to cope as you experience the symptoms of withdrawal. Depending on how you cope, you can end up feeling better or worse.

There are a few things you can to do heal that I have found to be effective in my experience as a psychologist.



  1. Remove the person from social media

Remove your ex from social media – at least to some capacity. You can unfriend, unfollow or simply remove them from your news feed and adjust your settings so that you don’t see their photos. The problem with seeing your ex’s photos and other updates on social media is that it makes you think about them, and you may end up seeing posts that upset you.

  1. Use distraction

Make yourself busy, at least in the initial weeks after a breakup. Of course you want to process your emotions and take some down time when you need it, but busying yourself is important because it helps you keep your mind on other things when you’re most likely to reach out or even go back to your ex.

  1. Change your routine

We develop habits and routines that involve our partner when we’re in a relationship. Once the relationship ends, changing your routine will help you fill that sense of emptiness that so many of us feel after a breakup. Try doing something different during the times you would usually do something with your ex. You can call a friend, take up a new fitness class or make a nice dinner for family and friends.

  1. Journal

Keeping a journal is a really effective way to explore your relationship on a new level. If you don’t journal, you are mostly relying on memory and the perceptions and opinions of others (as well as your safemdonline own) as you try to understand your relationship and why it didn’t work out.

A journal helps you capture those moments that give you a narrative of your patterns with this person. We often forget the way we’re treated when we’re in a relationship that isn’t good for us. It’s easy to blame ourselves for overreacting when we’re treated poorly, but if you keep track, you can identify unhealthy patterns.

  1. Make a list of the bad

In your phone or on a piece of paper small enough to fit in your wallet, write down all the reasons your relationship didn’t work out. If you keep a journal, you can use your journal to inform the unhealthy patterns on your list that contributed to you ending up with a broken heart. Your awareness of the state of your relationship and why it ended is a crucial piece to your ability to move on.

  1. Reflect

You are going to miss your ex, despite all the things you can do to feel better. But when you’re in those difficult moments when you’re missing them and thinking about going back, ask yourself if it’s your ex that you want or if you just want somebody.

Missing your ex is part of healing a broken heart. You will feel lonely and want to reach out, but if you remember to reflect on why you are no longer together and where you want to be, you will heal and move forward. Know that every day you go through withdrawal, you are getting better, and every time you reach out to your ex, you are relapsing.

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