Emotional intimacy heats up physical pleasure. If you want great sex, emotional intimacy can lead to an incredible sex life. Physical intimacy is often pleasure-focused. Emotional intimacy, on the other hand, is much deeper and lasting. It is allowing yourself to be vulnerable by expressing your feelings, needs and fears. Connecting with someone on a deeper emotional level leads to feeling loved, secure and more satisfied in your relationship.
To deepen emotional intimacy with your partner, try these 6 tips:
1. Learn your partner’s love language.
What does your partner complain about most often? You can learn your partner’s love language if you tune into this. Their complaints are likely a reflection of how they want to be loved.
The five love languages (created by Gary Chapman) are physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service. We tend to love others the way we want to be loved, so think about how your partner shows love and mirror their behaviour.
This experiment is also a form of foreplay. If you show love in small ways that resonate with your partner everyday, you will create desire and a much more intense sex life.
To find our your love language, take Gary Chapman’s love languages quiz.
2. Don’t be passive aggressive when you’re upset.
Don’t withhold your feelings when you’re angry. Reach out and say exactly how you feel. You can also reach out to your partner through touch. Affectionate physical gestures like holding hands will remind you of the love you share and help calm the agitated body.
3. Express gratitude.
Thank your partner for simple, day-to-day gestures like washing the dishes or getting groceries. Men in particular desire to hear that their partner is proud of them. So tell him you’re proud of him for working hard, being a great dad or whatever you’re truly proud of! Let him know you appreciate him and what he does.
4. Pick a good time.
Quality time is the perfect time to mention something that upset you. Try to wait until dinner or ask your partner to go for a walk with you. The benefit of waiting for the right time is that you will both feel more at ease, and you will be less likely to fight.
5. Share your life.
Sharing things about your day builds a friendship. It lets your partner in on the little things that stress you out or put you in a bad mood. This new understanding of you makes your partner feel less alienated if you get home from work upset.
6. Let go of resentment.
Letting go of resentment and bitterness towards your partner is critical for you to be open to emotional intimacy. You will hit roadblocks if you hold onto old anger. So try to see the lessons you can take with you (the good stuff) and let the rest go.
Emotional closeness is the foundation for lasting relationships. When you’re satisfied emotionally you will be able to let go, trust and enjoy more freely in the bedroom.
I will be speaking about this in more depth at the Everything to Do with Sex Show on the Oct 24 weekend. Click here for more details: http://toronto.everythingtodowithsex.com/schedules/seminars