Do you have people in your life who are negative? Why do you hold on to them?
To create space for more empowering things in your life, it is sometimes necessary to let go of people who no longer serve you. I’d like you to think about how you feel around your friends and other people in your life. Do you have relationships with people who inspire you and leave you feeling brighter? Do you feel drained or off after sharing your energy with certain people?
When we’re around others, we’re sharing our energy aside from our time. Energetically, we can feel the negativity of others in our body after spending time together. So remember how you feel, physically and mentally, after spending time with people.
I notice that my clients will often have a hard time letting go of people who bring them down because of guilt and the feeling that they need to be loyal. My clients will say that they can’t let go of someone because they’ve known them for years and they’ve been through a lot together.
However, if your current relationship with someone brings you down, you can create space for more empowering relationships if you let them go. If you want to experience new growth in your life you have to clear out the toxic relationships.
So this spring, maybe it’s time to let some people go, or at least create more space. If you have unmet needs in certain relationships, you can have a conversation and share your needs to improve the relationship.
How you deal with negative people in your life depends on the kind of relationship you have with them. Here are a few approaches to consider:
The negative person at work
Think of someone at work who inspires you. Sit with them at lunch, or invite them for coffee instead of spending time around a negative coworker. In my younger days, I would onhealthy approach people who I looked up to and ask if I could treat them to lunch. In our time together, I would ask what they felt made them so successful, what books they were reading and what seminars they were going to. I would then apply these things to my life, and soon I had the same results as they did.
If you approach people who you want to be more like, you can bring their energy into your life. In doing this, you can also replace negative people with positive people whose energy resonates with you.
The negative friend or family member
A lot of my clients say that they live with someone who is negative, but they don’t share their needs. Rather than feeling like a victim, try to focus on what you can control and take responsibility for your own happiness.
Could you create more space between you and your mother in-law, for example? If you live with this person, could you go to family therapy? Could you ensure that you lead an active social life so that you’re not fixating on their negativity?
You can’t control other people, but you can control your choices. You also have control of sharing your needs. You can start taking responsibility for your own happiness if you create boundaries, share your needs and say no to things when you need to. If you have trouble setting boundaries or sharing your needs, I would recommend that you see a therapist for help with this. It’s something you can learn to do.
It’s natural to be hesitant to let go of people in our life. Change is often uncomfortable at first. But you need to be mindful of your own wellbeing in order to take care of you. By focusing on what you can control and taking responsibility for your own happiness, your life will begin to flow with much more ease.