Love is three things: acceptance, understanding and tolerance of who your partner is.
During my couple’s counselling sessions, often one partner complains about the other. Most often, the partner who complains tries to turn the other into a reflection of themselves. This conveys a message to your partner that you are unhappy with who they are right now and want them to be different. It can get to the point where most of the relationship is spent nagging about this and trying to change the other person.
In a relationship, everyone has a role. If you love to cook, they may love to clean. Rather than try to change your partner’s efficiency at a certain task, why not realize this may not be their role. Maybe your role is to be organized and your partner’s role is to add a sense of relaxation to the relationship and make you laugh.
So it’s time to shift your perspective: Instead of complaining, think about what your partner is good at and let that be their role.
Fully accept your partner for who they are and allow them to shine in their own strengths. Realize this creates a balance in the relationship. Know that dating someone who is just like you would actually create aggravation as both parties would dominate at the same task. So try your best to start accepting your partner as they are and open your eyes to the beauty of the role they have in your relationship.