Embrace Your Role

© examiner.com

© examiner.com

Love is three things: acceptance, understanding and tolerance of who your partner is.

During my couple’s counselling sessions, often one partner complains about the other. Most often, the partner who complains tries to turn the other into a reflection of themselves. This conveys a message to your partner that you are unhappy with who they are right now and want them to be different. It can get to the point where most of the relationship is spent nagging about this and trying to change the other person.

In a relationship, everyone has a role. If you love to cook, they may love to clean. Rather than try to change your partner’s efficiency at a certain task, why not realize this may not be their role. Maybe your role is to be organized and your partner’s role is to add a sense of relaxation to the relationship and make you laugh.

So it’s time to shift your perspective: Instead of complaining, think about what your partner is good at and let that be their role.

© thedatingjungle.com

© thedatingjungle.com

Fully accept your partner for who they are and allow them to shine in their own strengths. Realize this creates a balance in the relationship. Know that dating someone who is just like you would actually create aggravation as both parties would dominate at the same task. So try your best to start accepting your partner as they are and open your eyes to the beauty of the role they have in your relationship.

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3 Responses to Embrace Your Role

  1. deborah says:

    Excellent article!!!!! answers questions that were previously posted.

    • Nicole says:

      Thanks so much Deborah for all your comments! It’s so great to have such avid readers 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed this article!

  2. debbie walker says:

    Hi Nicole-tell me what is the ideal marriage? Does it exist? Is it doable? It just seems like an ongoing fight to have a great marriage. It starts out great then turns into a fight for change as things get boring, the same or not what one expected. Is it ideal to live together first to see if the guy your dating is in fact a person you can live with? Why would anyone marry and then expect their partner to change? Is it possible for people to grow together without the expectation of changing one another but in fact changing as the marriage grows? How does one avoid a stagnate marriage? Just thoughts.

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