Habituation and Relationships

Habituation is a decrease in response to a stimulus after repeated presentations. So, with repeated appearances of something or someone, we develop a tolerance. This idea applies to most things in life, including relationships!

In the beginning of a relationship, we respond to our partner in an excited state. The body is charged up, and every touch feels electric, because the sensation is new and thrilling. Your brain is releasing feel-good chemicals that produce a sort of euphoric love high. This is the stage in a relationship where you’re thinking that your partner is perfect, the future is looking bright, and you can’t believe how lucky you are.

But (unfortunately) the body and mind cannot sustain this response forever, as it uses up your energy resources. These electrifying new feelings begin to lose their shine, and soon, you are used to your partner. You have become habituated. This is the stage where you weight out the good and the bad. If it’s the right match, you will accept your partner, flaws and all, and continue forward.

Habituation is a natural process, and it doesn’t mean that anything is wrong. The fireworks can’t last a lifetime, they (sadly) have to fade. The hope is that they are replaced with something deeper and more meaningful. The connection you have after habituation should be filled with friendship, respect, and yes, passion. The passion will just occur on a deeper level, because it’s not new anymore.

Habituation can sometimes be harmful though, as when you are used to someone, it’s easy to take can i buy xanax online legally them for granted, or to stop noticing them. If this is the case, try these few simple tips, to you can reconnect with your partner.

  • Practice being grateful. Look at your partner and think about the qualities you admire in them. What attracted you in the beginning? What have you learned about that person over your time together?
  • Think back to the beginning of your relationship? How did you connect physically with your partner? Was it just sex, or did you give each other massages, take baths together, play sports, or go for walks? Re-introduce these physical and sexual activities that used to make you feel so connected.
  • Change up your routine. If you eat dinner in front of the television every night, or perhaps don’t eat dinner together at all, make a point of preparing a meal, and enjoying it together without distraction. Or, if you both spend your weekends relaxing at home, plan a date outside of the house to reconnect.

Remember: Habituation is normal and it happens to us all, it’s just a matter of not taking it personally and doing the work to stay in love and stay excited.





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