Understanding the Brain and Your Relationship

Did you know that the first 8 weeks after conception, an embryo’s brain is always female? After 8 weeks, the embryo either continues to develop as a female, or there may be a huge testosterone surge to become male. If there is a testosterone surge, some of the cells in the area of communication die, while the areas dedicated to sex and aggression grow. Women’s brains are generally built to understand communication and emotion. The female brain is better at reading subtle facial, bodily and verbal cues. Men struggle to read emotions, and sometimes only know that a female is in distress if she is crying. This is the reason why women have evolved to cry 4 times more often than men. The male brain is structured with a higher drive for sex and aggression, and the areas for communication are much less developed. The male brain responds to logical, rational communication, and in order to fix a problem, men tend to be task oriented. For example, “You’re angry. What can I do to fix this?”

Once you understand the differences between the male and female brain, you can avoid the frustration that we so often experience after an argument or discussion. You know, that talk where you and your partner walk away with a completely different understanding of what was discussed? However, if you take the time to communicate with your partner in a way that he or she will buy generic xanax online no prescription understand, you will be able to better resolve issues in your relationship.

For example, when upset or irritated, women tend to display a harsh tone of voice, shortness in their speech, and withdrawn body language. When her male partner does not take notice of her changed behaviour, it adds fuel to the fire. Now, instead of being angry for the first reason, the woman is upset because a) her partner does not know why she is angry, and b) he took too long to realize that she is angry. This pattern can result in explosive arguments, as the resentment can build the longer the male takes to address the issue.

To solve this problem, a woman may directly communicate with her male partner, in a statement, such as, “I am upset because _________.” It’s so simple, yet we rarely approach an issue in this way. The male will respond to the statement, but also will immediately understand the problem, instead of having to slowly draw it out of the woman over time, which is frustrating for everyone.

Take some time to think about how the basic developmental differences in our brains may be affecting the way you communicate with your partner. Hopefully after knowing these differences, you will take things less personally, knowing that he is not agitating you on purpose, it’s just the way he’s built, which is very different than you.


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