Keep That Passion Going!

The end of summer is fast-approaching – heat waves are cooling down, and you can feel the breeze when nighttime approaches.

The summer sizzle is slowly withering…

Have you ever experienced this in your relationship? There was a time when it was heated and passionate, and then one day you wake up and beside you in bed is someone who you have lost that spark with?

Many people don’t know how to keep the passion going; if you are one of them, read on and hopefully you can do something different to spice it up.

First and for most, honest communication is the integral part of a passionate relationship. There has to be a reason that your relationship is cooling down.  Your job is to find out why. If it’s your own problem, correct it. If both of you are responsible (e.g., both of you are preoccupied with your own career), talk it out with your partner.

Accumulation of misunderstandings is the origin of cold relationships.

Once you think that there is a slight possibility of a misunderstanding, it’s never too late to be honest with each other and let everything out in the open.

Secondly, try something new together. Get creative! Surprise each other! Research shows that after doing something novel together, a couple is more likely to feel that their relationship is enhanced and they feel more passionate about their partner. It could be going fishing together, or rock-climbing, or salsa dancing… you name it! As long as it’s something you haven’t done together, it’s worth a try. Dump the old routines – if you have been eating at home every Friday night, try dining out. If you’ve been spending your Sundays at home, plan a short weekend trip for just the two of you

If you keep doing what you are doing, you will keep getting what you are getting in your relationship.

Finally, spend quality time together! You can’t expect romance to stay if you and your partner aren’t even physically together! Think back to the time when the two of you first fell in love. Who was constantly on your mind? Who did you want to be with the most? You could be with your newfound love 24/7 and never got tired. He or she could tell the most boring story on earth and you still enjoyed every bit of it. Gradually, you learned that it’s important to balance your time spent with your partner, family and friends; and that it’s okay (and healthy!) if you don’t see your partner all the time. Eventually, you stopped thinking about your partner as much, because his or her routine has been imprinted in your head – you’ve grown to know everything about your partner and things related to him/ her became predictable and less exciting. Sometimes, this marks the beginning of partners drifting apart. It lurks so quietly that you don’t notice it until it’s too late. At the end, even when you two are in the same room, you don’t feel your partner’s presence. Spending “quality time” together matters: when you are with each other, pay full attention to your partner, as well as yourself. Suppress all thoughts that have nothing to do with him or her.

Be aware of the time spent with your partner, and enjoy it.

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