Now that you have mastered the art of resolving conflict, it is time to learn how to bring your relationship to the next level.
In his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, the renowned psychologist, Dr. John Gottman proposes that positive interactions in relationships should be increased and we should focus on our partner’s positive qualities.
Conflict has to be resolved; but that by itself is insufficient.
A perfect relationship is not one without conflict – it requires mutual understanding, shared goals, and respect, to name a few.
Here are some proven tips that can prevent break-ups:
- Enhance Your Love Maps: Do you even know your partner? Do you know what they love? What lights them up? What makes them happy and interests them? Understanding what makes your partner tick is the first step in building the foundation of a happy, long-lasting relationship.
- Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration: Try to focus on each other’s positive aspects and the happy memories you share. Rather than noticing the little annoyances that you tolerate everyday, start noticing what you love about your partner. What drew you to them in the first place? Fondness and admiration are the basis for respect.
- Turn Toward Each Other: Frequent communication is essential. Take the time to talk to your partner about your day. Share your life. This could help you understand each other better. When we understand our partner we take buy xanax no prescription things less personally.
- Let Your Partner Influence You: You should always be true to yourself. However, it is also important to give in to your partner once in a while. Let them feel that they have the power and are in control in the relationship.
- Solve Your Solvable Problems: This is similar to what we talked about last week. Solve an existing problem at an early stage before it grows and magnifies. We all have solvable problems in our relationships; take the time to find out which ones you can come up with solutions to and focus on tackling those problems.
- Overcome Gridlock: Conflict is created because of our inability to understand our partner’s underlying thoughts and feelings. Be able to empathize with your partner while you tackle your solvable problems.
- Create Shared Meaning: Try to find a similar set of fundamental values, attitudes and traditions. Look for the commonalities between you and your partner and build on those. Once you take the time to understand what makes your partner tick and stop judging them, you can meet them halfway and build a lasting and fulfilling relationship. You will notice that they will naturally start reciprocating all your hard work.