Nicole McCance Psychology Blog

Play has always been an essential part of child development and is the main communication tool for children. Since play is a natural form of self-expression it can be utilized as a way of working therapeutically with children that are experiencing behavioural and emotional difficulties.

Play therapy incorporates many activities called ‘tools’ for children to utilize which help them express themselves and process events in their lives. Some of these ‘tools’ include art, sand, role play, and music. Using these tools, play therapy allows the child the opportunity to play out their feelings and problems. For children to partake in play therapy, they do not need to be able to verbally share what is happening for them, their world is expressed through their play!

Virginia Mae Axline (1911-1988), an American psychologist and a pioneer of play therapy, is known for the non-directive technique and establishing eight key principles for the therapist to follow. With this technique the therapist supports the child in being able to process their experiences at their own pace in a non-overwhelming manner. The therapist creates a therapeutic rapport which provides the children with acceptance, helping the child feel capable within themselves, and supports the child in gaining insights. Non-directive play therapy creates an approachable therapy for children to engage in.  Helping them feel confident, find their voice and process the tough stuff in life!

Did you know that neurofeedback is very effective for panic attacks? Panic attacks are generally difficult to treat because of their unexpected onset. But Neurofeedback can be especially effective for panic attacks when administered in conjunction with psychotherapy.

Anxiety is a hyper aroused state of our nervous systems and results from too much high beta brain waves. Your brain might be dysregulated in this way and it doesn’t even know it. You may have even gotten accustomed to the feeling of anxiety so much so that you do not realize when you are anxious. Typical symptoms of anxiety include: Feeling constantly rushed or having a sense of urgency about everything, trouble breathing and impatience. These symptoms can lead to irritability and difficulty sleeping which results in concentration difficulties at work or even in your relationships.

You may be asking, how does neurofeedback work? The EEG electrodes can read your brainwaves and provide feedback to you on what your brain is doing. In the case of panic attacks, it interrupts the brain patterns related to the panic. Similar to the electrical signal sent to the heart when you experience dysrhythmia, neurofeedback interrupts your anxious beta brainwaves by sending a signal to your brain. The brain then knows to get back to its regular pattern. It only takes about ten to twelve weekly neurofeedback sessions for the brain to get back to its regular patterns.

Your body always wants to be in homeostasis, a state of balance. It knows how balance feels and is always striving to attain it. The body knows when we are too cold, or too hot and it takes steps to bring us back to balance. The brain regulates your brain waves just like your body regulates your temperature. But the brain needs help achieving this balance when it is stuck in unhealthy patterns. By interrupting it through neurofeedback, we let it reboot and it reorganizes itself to become more regulated. This is when your symptoms will subside.

Your brain knows what it is like to be healthy. A healthy regulated brain has no symptoms. It sleeps well, is not agitated, it concentrates, has good memory and does not have panic attacks. Your worries are reduced, breaths are deeper and you feel safe. Most importantly, it makes you feel good!

Did you know that Neurofeedback is a research based treatment for individuals with ADHD? Traditional ADHD treatment has focused on medications. However, in recent years strong research has demonstrated that Neurofeedback achieves equivalent effects as medication. In fact, according the American Pediatric Society Neurofeedback is now a Level 1-Best support intervention for ADHD, meaning that it is considered a best practice treatment for ADHD.

At the Toronto Neurofeedback and Psychotherapy Centre we use QEEG assessments and Neurofeedback to target parts of the brain that develop early in a child’s development. Clients regularly report initial improvements in their child’s attention, followed by improvements in academic performance, social skills, decreased distractibility, improved memory, and decreased impulsivity.

By using QEEG assessments we are able to determine the difference in brain wave activity and observe regions of the brain which may be underactive or overactive. Research has shown that there is a difference in brain waves for children with ADHD. In addition, many empirical studies show changes in brainwaves post treatment as well as changes in behaviour (less aggressive, more cooperative, better communication, improved attention span and improved sensory motor skills.)

Head to our website torontoneurofeedback.ca to read many research articles on the benefits of Neurofeedback for children with ADHD.

We have multiple different types of brain waves and our state of arousal depends on which brain waves are happening at the moment. Our brain waves are measured in hertz, or cycles per second.

Delta waves are slow and usually occur when we are in a deep sleep. We also frequently see delta waves in head injuries, as injured neurons tend to be slower.  

Theta waves occur when we are a bit more aroused. We see them when we are drowsy, groggy or right before we are about to fall asleep. Having a balance of theta helps our memory.

Alpha waves are ideally where we want our brains to be. They signal that we are alert but calm.

Low Beta waves occur when we are thinking but relaxed. We solve problems, have conversations and even read blog posts in this state!

Beta waves generally occur when we are actively thinking. They are heavily involved in cognitive functions; we are alert, focused, engaged and task-oriented.

High Beta waves signal anxiety, worrying and muscle tension. Lots of these waves can suggest we are having trouble letting things go.

Gamma waves are the highest frequency brain waves and also the most recently discovered. Whenever you have a moment of enlightenment you can thank Gamma waves for it!

Many psychological conditions are affected by the balance of brain waves. In anxiety, PTSD and panic attacks we see too much beta waves and not enough alpha. This could be a result of childhood trauma that has placed your brain in a rigid pattern which needs to be changed before you can get better.

In traditional therapy, too much high beta waves could be impacting your ability to learn the techniques your therapist is providing. High theta waves could also be giving you concentration problems and result in zoning out during a session. Using neurofeedback in conjunction with psychotherapy and cognitive behavioural therapy allows us to observe your brain waves and teach the brain to regulate itself. We want to achieve a balance of brain waves so the brain can reach the homeostasis it constantly craves.

Neurofeedback can teach the brain to calm the autonomic nervous system which is related to anxiety. By balancing brain waves we can move you away from the sympathetic system response to a parasympathetic response. Once we reach our goal of reducing beta waves and balancing theta, you will feel calmer and relaxed.

A lot of people under estimate how difficult it can be to start dating after divorce, when you have children. You’re likely going to be dating somebody who has kids, as well, which means you’ll have to work around more then just two people’s schedules. If your children are young then you’ll also need to pay for a babysitter increasing the amount of money you’ll be spending to go on dates. Plus at the end of the day when you’ve put your kids to sleep, the last thing you probably want to do is get dolled up, go meet a stranger and hope for the best.

With all these difficulties in mind, I made a list of creative things you can do if you’re in this situation.

1. Find a date that’s cheap. As mentioned, there’s a good chance you already need to spend cash on a babysitter so why not save money on the actual date. Do something like going for a walk instead, especially if the weather is nice. This also gives you a constant topic of conversation as you can talk about what you’re seeing as you walk. Walking also comes with less pressure than sitting in a restaurant. If you’re shy it can be nerve racking to sit across from someone you don’t know who’ll be staring at you all night. An added bonus, you’ll be getting exercise!
2. Only meet for coffee or drinks. This is another way to save money since you won’t need to pay for a full meal. If you do find that you’re enjoying yourself you can always order an appetizer. Plus drinks or coffee is much less of a commitment if the date isn’t going well.
3. Be adventurous. Make a bucket list of things that you personally want to do or see and plan fun dates based on your list!  This could include things like going for a hike, going to the beach, a wine tour or festivals in your area.

Overall dating after divorce is more difficult because it’s more complicated but hanging in there is key.  Also surrounding yourself with social support, specifically spending time with people who have successfully found love after divorce will keep you both hopeful and inspired!

I ran into a friend the other day at the gym and she started telling me that her and her husband have been renovating their house and they recently bought expensive light fixtures for their kitchen. Once installed, she didn’t like the way the lights looked. She also found herself obsessing about how ugly they were and nagging her husband to take them down. It got to the point that every time she walked into her newly renovated kitchen she was fixated on these eye sores. It even led to a few arguments between them.

After days of dealing with this, her husband gently pointed out that her being bothered by the new expensive light fixtures was a “first world problem.” This was eye opening for her and after hearing that comment, it helped her to let go of the stressful reaction. Instead she switched her focus to the fact that she has the means to renovate her kitchen to begin with.

It’s easy for us to get caught up in the details of our job or how our partner hasn’t emptied out the garage or even how a friend hasn’t gotten back to us yet. We can become obsessed with the little things and allow it to ruin our day or even our week.

My intention is not to minimize what you are going through but to help you change your perspective. The truth is a lot of what we stress about are “first world problems.” What that means is we take for granted how easy our lives actually are. We have clean water, a cold fridge (probably with food in it), access to free healthcare and likely live in safe neighbourhood. Things could be so much worse. Lets remind ourselves of what we do have instead of focusing on what we don’t. Notice how your mood changes, almost instantaneously when you change your focus.

Believe it or not, it actually takes certain skills to be a good friend. By “good friends” I mean people who are supportive, empathetic and may even help you reflect on your life. For example I have clients who tell me that when they reach out to a friend for support they often hear comments like “ I went through the same thing but worse, so I’d rather have what you’re going through now.” This statement minimizes the other person’s feelings and they are less likely to reach out for support, as they may even feel more alone after this conversation.

If you struggle with how to respond to a friend calling you when they’re upset, here are some things to keep in mind:

1. Don’t change the topic to yourself. A lot of people think that it will help their friend to hear that you relate to their struggle but the truth is if you bring this up right away it can come across as self-centered. Instead, try asking open-ended questions, like “How are you feeling about all this?” When someone is calling you about something that happened they probably want to talk about how it makes them feel so make sure to give them the chance.

2. Empathize. Say things like “Oh my God, that must be so hard”, or “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” If the person is angry, get angry with them! Feel their emotions with them and express those emotions back. It can help this person feel better to have that comradely because they want to feel justified.

3. Validate them. Think about your friend’s history and relate it to how they are feeling, saying things like “It totally makes sense that you would feel this way since the same thing happened to you last time, you must feel so hurt.” At this point you could also mention that you went through something similar and you remember how it made you feel.

As with any skill, being a good friend can be learned. Try practicing these tips the next time a friend, or someone who could become a friend, comes to you with a problem. You may find your friend circle expanding!

Research shows that 67% of couples report lower marital satisfaction after kids. Generally marital satisfaction will stay at the same reduced level until the children turn 4 years-old. As a Psychologist and new mom of twin boys, here is what I have learned so far on how to stay happy and in love.

1. Have a scheduled date night. Keep things interesting by taking turns choosing the date. Some of my favourite date ideas include: Trying a new restaurant, a double date with friends, comedy show, cooking class and wine tasting. It takes extra effort to plan since raising new babies is exhausting however it’s quality time to look forward to in the midst of the chaos.
2. Invest in your relationship. Don’t get caught up in over-thinking the expenses of a date night or hiring a babysitter. It will be worth the investment. You can also find cheaper alternatives such as ice-skating and hikes. If you’re investing all your time into your baby and expecting your relationship to be fine it’s highly likely you will be disappointed.
3. Be affectionate. When we touch our partner we release the biochemicals endorphins and oxytocin. These are feel-good chemicals that can help us feel close and attached to our partner. I have even had client’s tell me that if they cuddle before bed they find that they sleep better. I commonly hear from new moms that they cuddle so much with their new baby that they find they cuddle less with their xanax brand generic partner. Knowing this, try your best to be affectionate with your partner, even during the busy day. It can be simple things, like greeting them at the door with a quick hug, a hug and kiss before bed and in the morning. These small things will sustain the relationship.
4. Cherish these moments as a family. Enjoy this precious time. With your growing baby. Try your best to be present to this little miracle and how they develop and learn everyday. Watch them with wonderment. It is truly a beautiful time to be present to their little personalities unfolding. Do this with your partner, you are creating life long memories.
5. See a Therapist.. Having a baby is such a life-changing event and can be a difficult transition for both your life and your relationship. Seeing a therapist, even when your relationship is good, can help you sustain what good you have and learn tools to make it even better. Often couples come into my office when their relationship is already in crisis. Instead try to see a therapist early and be preventative.

Life can be hectic and when you add a baby or two to the mix it can feel overwhelming. To avoid reaching the point of a relationship breakdown be sure you are scheduling time out with your partner and reconnecting everyday as often as you can. Most importantly, cherish the time with your baby together since before you know it they’ll be all grown up!

A recent study by the University of Toronto revealed that 2 in 5 (almost 40%) formerly depressed adults are happy and achieve complete mental health. This research provides a hopeful message on Mental Illness Awareness Week. These adults reported that they are happy almost everyday and report good life satisfaction. The study found that the following 3 factors were common in those who overcame depression.

1. The importance of sleep. How much sleep are you getting? It’s worth talking to your doctor if you feel you aren’t getting enough or aren’t waking up rested. Your doctor may refer you to a sleep study to rule out a sleep disorder. The good news is sleep disorders can be treated. You can also try smaller changes like going to bed at the same time every night and having a calming bedtime routine. Click here for more sleep tips.
2. Social support. Having even one good friend to talk to can make a big difference in overcoming depression. If you’ve been feeling down for some time, ask yourself when the last time was that you spoke to your good friend. If you don’t have any good friends at this purchase xanax tablets time you might want to try reaching out to a coworker or even use social media to catch up with an old friend. Feeling depressed makes it really hard to get motivated, especially as we approach the winter months. Just feeling supported by one person can help you feel less alone. There are also depression support groups you can join to meet new people.
3. Good Physical health. People with good physical health are more likely to overcome depression. This means going to the doctor when you notice aches and pains or even going to the dentist when you need to. Use your work benefits as much as you can. Exercise and diet is another key factor in good physical health. It can be hard to change these habits overnight but start with something small like going from a large to a small can make a big difference in how you feel. 

It’s important to remember that these are all things that are within your control. When depression hits it can be easy to fall into feeling hopeless and helpless. Try to remember that 40% of formerly depressed people get better.