A note to new moms: It’s gonna be hard, but you can do hard

woman-356141_1280Being pregnant with twins (and having a c-section in 4 days!) there are a lot of thoughts running through my mind. I keep having conversations with friends and family about how much more work two babies are compared to just one. I am mentally preparing for it to be hard, especially at the beginning. With two babies my husband and I will be an equal number of parents and children right away and we will be unable to “trade them off” to one another so one of us can get a break, clean up, or even prepare a sandwich. In addition, the sleep deprivation and our needs not mattering as much anymore as we attend to two little people, will all be a big adjustment.

Thinking about this also got me reflecting on my past and everything “hard” I had gone through. I reminded myself that I’ve overcome a lot and gotten through some really tough times. I thought to myself “If I persevered through hard times before, won’t I be able to do this? This is gonna be hard…but I’ve done hard, and came out the other side.” This thought was followed by a sense of confidence and trust that everything always works out. There was now room to enjoy this big life transition called new mom… of two.

I noticed that when I’m feeling nervous I start to see myself as small. The reality is that I’m not small and in fact I’ve proven my strength on many occasions in the past. Here is what I want you to do the next time you start to feel the same. As soon as you start to feel anxious think of all the things you have overcome in the past. Look for your strengths. You will begin to realize how strong you actually are. Sometimes it just takes slowing down for a minute to remember.

I also want you to make a list of the resources available to you, as a new mom. This could be a list of friends, family, community services, or books you want to read. Be specific and write them down. Then write down a list of your own strengths such as hardworking, resilient, resourceful or positive.

Keep in mind that it’s normal to be nervous since this is new territory for you. Keep the list on your phone or somewhere easy for you to access when you need it. This way any time you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious you can review the list and remember all that you’ve done and all that you have available to you.beautiful-young-1434863_1920

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One Response to A note to new moms: It’s gonna be hard, but you can do hard

  1. debbie walker says:

    Hello Nicole: Congratulations! I am an RN and my clinical rotations included maternity and labour and delivery. Your blog is great! You are on target with Preplanning which is ideal for the birth of a baby…you will have two…there is extra planning required and it seems all is in place for you. Having a very supportive partner is key, keeping in mind that your recovery will take some time. Be patient with yourself. Including family members in the care of the children is great-keep in mind they all have their own ideas about baby care and this can be difficult at times because you have your own ideas. Breast feeding-oh yes have a plan here-there is nothing wrong with bottle feeding, pumping or even formula. Putting baby to breast after a c-section can be painful as the uterus starts to contract. The more you breast feed the more the uterus gets back into shape. In hospital there are lactation specialists and some of the nurses are also trained. Many moms like to have babies in the room with them at all times-let the nurses take them for the night-they will return them to you for feeding or they will keep them for bottle feed (this depends on hospital). This will be a big adjustment for you and your hubby so once again take your time. Never feel guilty, all bodies differ-this is a huge learning curve, breast feeding is not always the ideal and for some not an option. Emotions fluctuate due to hormones-some moms cry at the first bathing because the baby may cry-let it go. To circumsize or not is no ones business but your own. I sense you will both be great parents. Be kind to one another and remember this is going to be one journey that is full of ups and downs, exciting new beginnings and lots of fun and memories.
    Take Care,
    Debbie

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