I often see clients for psychotherapy who want to know the normal number of times a week people should be having sex. Statistics tell us that on average people in their 30s with busy lives have sex once a week but people who have sex twice or more a week are generally happier. People who have sex every few days are 55% more likely to report feelings of happiness.
So when it comes to the “normal” number of times to have sex in a week, it really comes down to the couple. Every person has their own preference of how often they want to have sex. However, frustration occurs if one person in the relationship wants sex more often than the other. This is one of the common disagreements I see in couple’s therapy.
Connecting on a physical level is one thing that couples have that is really special and sacred to the relationship. Scheduling sex can feel mundane and can make sex seem like a task. What I suggest doing is putting a reminder in your phone to initiate sex but don’t tell your partner. This way it will come across as spontaneous and also gives you a way to make sure you are connecting with your partner as frequently as possible.
If there is a lot of pressure from one partner to have more sex, sometimes it can help to just cuddle and have physical contact with one another without the pressure of sex and let one thing lead to another. The main thing to remember is to enjoy the process and have a little fun.