Research has shown that the happiest couples have been married less than 5 years, have no children, the man is working and both partners have college educations. For those couples that do not fit this statistic, particularly those married more than 7 years with children, the one major complaint I hear from men is “I don’t get enough sex.” Essentially, the men do not feel like they are a priority. They tell me they feel left out because the children are taking up all of their wife’s time and energy.
These men tell me that if their wives were to delegate more of the housework to them their wives would have more time and energy to have sex. The women then tell me that they prefer to do all the housework themselves because when they do ask their husbands to help the men become irritable and grumpy.
This creates a conundrum in the relationship: She can either do all the housework and be exhausted at the end of the day and not in the mood for sex. Or ask for help and be less exhausted but have to deal with a moody husband and tension in the home. I often see woman choosing the first option. Do it themselves, as it is easier then dealing with the tension that comes when they ask for help.
It’s important for men to know that the reason they may not be having as much sex as they want is because they are not helping enough. The reason their wife is not asking for help and just does it herself could be how he reacts when she does ask.
Gentlemen: It’s time to take responsibility for your sex life. If you work on your moodiness and help out more she may be more likely to want to share her body with you at night. Start by having a conversation with her about her needs and how your potential irritability may be impacting your relationship in the bedroom.