I often find myself suggesting to my clients that they give more compliments to their partners. I recently had a client tell me that he didn’t want his wife’s head to get too big and refused to compliment her. I have heard this before from a few other clients as well. I thought it might be worthy to blog about it. What I can’t understand about this concept is why someone would worry about having their partner feel too good about themselves. We live in a world where most people doubt themselves, feel insecure and are staving for words of affection, so be generous and give!
I’ve spoken before about the 5 love languages: One of these is Words of Affirmation. In my ten years of practice I’ve noticed that this is the love language most of my female clients need from their partner. She wants to hear that you love, miss and need her, that she’s a good mother, is beautiful and special.
It may be difficult to start complimenting because it is something you are not used to doing. I suggest even putting a reminder in your phone to help you get started. This way every morning you will get used to giving compliments and it will become a habit.
Our belief systems often are learned in our childhood. What messages did you receive as a child about giving people praise and affection? Do you feel uncomfortable when someone compliments you? The more you reflect on how this belief was formed the more likely you will be able to change it. Once you start allowing yourself to freely acknowledge and praise your partner she will light up and love you back.