Oftentimes when you find yourself single you also find yourself longing to be with someone. But you may continuously find yourself dating the same version of the wrong person. To avoid going through the same cycle (again and again), the best thing you can do is take stock while you are single to make your next relationship happier. You are the only common denominator in all your relationships and you are the only thing that you have the power to change.
Here are 5 things I suggest you start doing:
- Date yourself: Go on dates with yourself. Don’t hold out for that someone special to be in your life. Make a gourmet candle lit dinner for one, go see a movie at the cinema, go star gazing with a nice bottle of wine, or take a road trip. You’re the only person you’re guaranteed to be with for the rest of your life so you should learn to love and enjoy this person.
- We all come with some sort of baggage. Now that you’re single take a look at your past relationships and try to notice patterns that emerge. Take stock of your negative beliefs regarding the opposite sex and how you could change them. Lastly try to think of what messages you learned about relationships as a kid because these often explain the way you are as an adult.
- Make a list of want you want. Particularly find the top 3 things you need in a partner in order for you to be happy. For example you may want someone funny, affectionate and easy-going. Like anything great in life you need to prepare for it so be sure to determine those things you cannot live without in a partner. This way when he or she does come along it will be very clear to you.
- Find role models: Find friends whose relationship you really look up to. Take them out to dinner and ask them how they met and what their strengths are as a couple. Particularly ask them how they make it work and what is involved. I’m sure they will be happy to share their wisdom and help you learn.
- Create a life you love: Create routines that you truly enjoy and want to stick to. Eat healthy, wake up early, and work out in the morning. Love the life you live and when that special person does come along you will be relishing life. If you cannot learn to love your life without a partner you may put too much pressure on your relationship to make you happy, this can cause a lot of strain on your partner. Most of all, enjoy this time. Trust that you will find love when the time is right and when you are ready. In the meantime, have fun.