Language is the only thing that sets us apart from other species on the planet. We use it to speak to each other and to communicate with ourselves.
We tend to see ourselves in a certain way. When we wake up and see ourselves in the morning, we realize we are the type of person who is motivated, driven, ambitious, social, outgoing, impatient, etc. These thoughts about ourselves are based on how we perceived ourselves yesterday. We remember who we were yesterday, all our faults, flaws and strengths, and decide that is who we continue to be today. Using the language in our heads, we talk to ourselves all day long and reinforce who we think we are.
My clients come to me to help them change, but many talk to me about the future as if they don’t plan on changing. For example: They complain to me about how selective they are with the opposite sex or how they overwork themselves or don’t trust people or how they hate the gym. They talk about themselves in this negative way which then reinforces how they continue to see themselves. They believe this point of view, share it with their friends and now everyone around thinks of them in this way, too.
If you find yourself doing the above, here’s what you need to do to change things: Shift the way you communicate with the world and yourself. If you call yourself a commitment-phoebe and talk to your friends about it, stop! Instead realize that’s how you used to be. This moment is a new moment. If you want to experience change but are using the same communication, language and perception of yourself from the past, you limit how much you can change in the future.
Our language and our words are important. The words we choose to speak to ourselves and the world have a lot of power and energy and according to the law of attraction, different words attract different experiences. So be very cautious about how you speak about yourself. Try to rephrase speaking about the negative traits in the past tense and eliminate including such trait-descriptions in the present tense.
Create a game if you need support from your friends: Catch each other when any of you brings up the past by saying things like “I am always late,” “I am impatient,” “I am disorganized,” etc. Remind each other that this was in the past. Rephrase the statement to make it a positive one. For example: “I used to have difficulty being on time, but now I am trying to be punctual,” “I used to be super picky, but tonight’s date is going to be awesome.” It may feel like a lie at first, but at least you don’t keep bringing up the past and then just replaying it again and again. If you want to be different start by referring to yourself as so. This will also help enhance the positive vibrations in your social group, which is always good.