I’ve noticed many clients who are single and older, not settled down or committed to a lifetime with one person, are individuals who are easily turned off. They have a low tolerance for stress and a low tolerance for people who have qualities they see as unattractive.
However, I’ve also noticed long-term marriages are based on tolerance. In order to spend a lifetime with one person you have to find the resources within yourself to be able to tolerate their annoying habits and all of the differences between the two of you.
On the other hand, those with a low tolerance tend to be extremely judgemental when on a date. Let’s say your date reveals they want a big family (but you are unsure about kids), they like scary movies (but you can’t sleep after watching CSI) and they love camping (but you hate bugs). People with a low tolerance for being potentially uncomfortable will not go on a second date with this person.
So if you’re single or even if you’re in a relationship but unhappy, I want you to think about how low your tolerance is. If you’re looking for a lifetime mate then think about increasing your tolerance level a little bit. People who have a higher tolerance and are on that same date, hearing the same information, realize it’s the first date and decide to give the other person a chance. They know their feelings towards family size and lifestyle could change in the future and they are aware compromises can be made. They focus on the things they like about this person and don’t write them off immediately.
Most people who automatically find things wrong with another person do this because they doubt they could handle these ‘flaws’ in the future. So they immediately bow out and don’t see the person again, instead of going with the flow and seeing if a relationship could work out. They are constantly missing out on love and what could be a great experience and companionship.
If you are single and realize you’re the type of person who has a low level of tolerance, catch yourself when it happens next and give the other person a chance. Take a deep breath and try not to judge. Judging another person is only an attempt to protect yourself from being hurt. Be open and see what flows your way. You never know what good things can come from a date unless you give it a try.