What type of man do you want to share your life with? Are you looking for perfection? Are you looking for a Miracle Man?
Some women tell me their new partner is amazing and passionate. The sex is incredible, he’s sensitive, he shares his emotions, and he loves talking for hours. She is so happy.
Then I see her a few months later, typically 90 days later, when the love hormone, oxytocin, runs out and the honeymoon phase is over. She may start complaining about him being too emotional, their frequent fights, his neediness and a lot of work. Seems like this passion has turned from sexy to stressful.
If women are looking for an emotional man, and typically if you’re looking for a passionate man, he’s an emotional man. What is passion? It is emotion. It’s “fiery” and intense. It involves him sharing his deepest secrets, being completely open to you, wanting to hold you, having moments of staring deep into each other’s soul. It can be delicious and intoxicating.
However, if you want a man that is passionate and fiery, then expect him to be emotional. There can be downfalls of being with an emotional person, he may later express his anger freely, may sometimes be needy and may not be able to let things go. You may find yourself fighting just as passionately! You get passion, but then you may not get stability. You get excitement but you may not get ease.
Then there’s the other type of man. If you want a man that is laid back and calm. If you want to be around someone who when in their presence is so easy going that when you’re with him it’s like a warm breeze. Later on you are likely to be complaining that all your conversations are superficial, you are bit bored, you never have deep conversations, the sex is good but you wish there was more passion, you don’t fight but you wish he’d talk more and you wish he’d share his emotions.
My advice to you ladies is to pick one, because there is no miracle man that sits in the middle and is electrically passionate yet stable and easy going. These are traits on the opposite end of a continuum.
If you’re an emotional person then you’re going to fight emotionally. If you are laidback and want the guy that is chill and loves to have fun, then you’re going to get that and he may not be passionate, may be a bit withdrawn and may not touch you all the time.
When you pick a man, accept his shadow side. We all come with a dark side; we all come with weaknesses. When you decide to be with someone learn to accept all that comes with him, rather than complaining about him and going to the next guy, looking for this perfect mixture that doesn’t exist. Embrace what is in front of you. Find the good in the relationship you have, this is when you’ll be finally happy.