Are You in Love with a Person Or Their Potential?

Hope can be our enemy.  Your partner continually shows you a behaviour, but you hold out hope and continue to love the person you want them to be.

For example, in an abusive relationship, there is a cycle of ups and downs. You maintain love for the person your partner is when you are in an upswing, and forgive the violence and anger in the bad times. You hold onto the hope that your partner will change.

Maybe your relationship used to be really good. You hope that in the future, the experience you had in the past will re-appear. Think about the last time this person met your expectations… When did the hope that you hold onto actually prove to be true?  If it was months or even years ago, it’s time to let it go.

If you are not happy, and your hope for this partner is not being met, it’s time to re-examine this relationship. Look at the reality of your life together.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. So if you are constantly mistreated, disappointed, it is up to you to change. Don’t put yourself in the position of having your hopes dashed. You can create some distance between yourself and this person. If you cannot cut them out of your life completely, at least create space.

Let go of the potential, and start having hopes for yourself. You can only control your own situation. And once you apply the hopes, dreams and potential to yourself, you will certainly be happier.

 

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One Response to Are You in Love with a Person Or Their Potential?

  1. debbie says:

    This is such an important article. Life is too short to be unhappy.

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