At night, in bed, when you are trying to fall asleep… what is that persistent thought that troubles you?
When you fail, feel anxious, or become embarrassed, what internal mantra is in your head?
Actually take a moment and write down your thoughts. You may be surprised at the sort of negative conversation in your mind.
We are so used to these negative thoughts, that we often stop noticing them. These can include:
What if I am late for the meeting tomorrow?
What if I screw up during the presentation?
I’m not smart (or capable, independent, strong, or attractive)…
I’ll never meet someone…
I have failed as a partner (or parent, friend, employee)…
Once we recognize where our focus lies, we can start to change our thoughts, and in turn, our beliefs about ourselves. Next time you catch yourself thinking in a negative way, try to be understanding of yourself, as you would be to a friend. If your friend told you that they felt stupid, or hopeless, you would instantly point out their positive attributes, and comfort them.
So show some compassion toward yourself. Comfort yourself, and focus on your own positives. If you feel you have failed, create a plan to succeed next time. If you worry about perceived shortcomings, focus on ways to better yourself. Most of all, try to accept and let go of the past. Focus on the positive future… if you look for it, you will start to see the good.