Relationship experts often say, “If you want to change your relationship, change yourself first”.
How many times a day do you find yourself complaining (either openly or in your head) about your partner? How often do you wish he or she would change certain qualities that have been constantly irritating you?
Have you heard of a theory that everyone around you is a mirror of yourself? Based on the Law of Attraction, we attract people that are similar to us. When you find qualities in your partner that you don’t like, you might want to look within yourself to see if you possess these qualities yourself. For instance, if you think that your partner is controlling and you don’t like that about him/ her, carefully observe your thoughts and behaviours, and you might find that you can be controlling at times.
If a certain characteristic trait that someone else possesses constantly irritates you, then you are likely to also have this trait within you. You may have a hard time accepting this part of yourself, thus you are triggered when you see it in others.
We also tend to attract what is constantly on our minds. If you have little trust in men (or women), and have experienced many failed relationships because of trust issues, maybe you should change your thought patterns and core beliefs, and see what happens in your next relationship.
Take inventory! Tonight before bed, write down all of your partner’s traits that upset you. Then go through the list and ask yourself honestly if you also possess any of these irritating traits. Once you have this awareness, working towards accepting yourself is key. In time, you will find that these aspects of your partner no longer irritate you because you have accepted them in yourself, and as a result can accept them in others.